


Deserving

by Wayfarer_Rye



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb angst, Flowers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:26:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21864448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayfarer_Rye/pseuds/Wayfarer_Rye
Summary: Everyone has a different way to express love.
Relationships: The Mighty Nein & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 1
Kudos: 81





	Deserving

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr by me, I did some editing and sprucing up here. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Caleb Widogast doesn’t know what Love is.

He is damn sure it burned with his parents, with who he thought was the love of his life besides him, (arethosememoriesrealisanythingreal).

The grand knowledge of love was turned to ash and taste like dying when he tries to think on it longer than he has too.

His heartbeats and blood flows but love isn’t his to feel; monsters and evil don’t deserve love.

* * *

He wants Nott to be Veth again so much it physically hurts him that he cannot fix the problem for her now. For her to hold her son with her halfling arms. He wants her to see that Nott or Veth, she is still beautiful and great, that she was sculpted to be more than just a shield. 

Beau can take harder hits than him, hold out longer than him, stronger them him, but still, something in him screams to step in front of her, or stay behind her and burn all those that attempt to hurt her.

Jester, how can anyone believe she is anything but joy, and good. She is chaos but in the way, laughter is supposed to be, and he wants so desperately to shield her so she can keep being Jester. 

Caleb sees far too much of himself in Fjord, it clogs his throat as he just wants to tell Fjord it is okay, to be honest. It is okay, Caleb will be the shield to the rest of the world so Fjord can let his walls down for them.

Cadeucus’s world is one Caleb so desperately wants to see, and protect. He couldn’t let anything tarnish that deep-seated faith, that absolute boundless wonder and wisdom. Caduceus is a better man than most, and the world deserves better men like him around.

Yasha, he aches something fierce for all the wariness and anguish that follows the women, and he just wants her to smile the ways she smiles when looking at wildflowers or at the others; always. 

* * *

When he sees flowers he itches to pick them for the others, for Yasha for her collection and her soft smile, for the smile and laugh from Jester, the toothy grin from Nott ready to weave the flower into his hair, for the grumpy Beau who is always flattered behind the grumpiness, for the stunned Fjord and the ever-thoughtful Caduceus.

(He picks the more outlandish and grandiose ones for the member who they have left behind. They get slipped into his many pockets to be put under an equally grandiose jacket one day).

* * *

Caleb Widogast doesn’t know what love is, but that’s okay because love doesn't need to be known to be shown.

He may not be able to recognize his heart, or his language of affection any longer but one day, maybe, Caleb Widogast will realize that you can love isn't something you deserve, but something you will always get.

Love will find you, whether you are ready or not, deserving or not, love will find you.

**Author's Note:**

> Note Added 03/03/20  
> Thanks for reading   
> I hope you enjoyed the story!  
> Let me know what you think and what your favourite part was,   
> If you want to more or just want to maybe suggest what I should write next, visit me at; https://ryeswritings.tumblr.com/
> 
> What kind of flowers do you think Caleb would give each of the mighty nein?


End file.
